However, the vast majority of what I saw were ads telling me things like, when I buy my new home I need an accredited mortgage professional or I will forever envy my neighbors and friends who are able to buy huge flat screen televisions and new BMW’s because they used one. As a further result of not using one, I will be a loser with a Corolla and an inferior life, which I learn to loathe and others mock for pleasure.

I am sure that accredited mortgage professionals provide a valuable service, but the way they, as well as so many other companies, news sources and government agencies are communicating their messages, is negatively affecting our personal, as well as global beliefs and values system without us even knowing it. Most of the messages we see and hear on a daily basis perpetuate stereotypes, put people or groups down for being different, prey on our pain and fear and create uncertainty in our thoughts and actions.

Currently our global beliefs and values centre on consumption, output, money and status; but how did we get here? I can tell you one thing, it didn’t happen overnight. Over time, these companies, government bodies and media outlets have been exploiting our learned weaknesses. They have used their power of communication to exasperate and manipulate the truth from stories and instill fear and distrust in us. These false values and beliefs have been around so long that they have become bread into many of us from childhood.

Early on in our lives we were led to believe that everyone is equal; we are all special and unique and can be anything we want. However, as we grow up our peer groups and society as a whole quickly showed us that following that advice would lead to emotional and physical pain. This taught us that standing out and being different is bad. Most of us adapted promptly to this new reality, but some of us suffered more serious mental and physical results. The fact remains that we all carry this disempowering belief with us through much of our life, it’s just well hidden.

Now as we have become adults most of us are unconscious of this built up conditioning, habits and rules in our lives. We don’t bock at crazy things like the messaging in the accredited mortgage professional advertisement anymore. Most of us have become accustomed to these negative disempowering ideas, but we are beginning to wake up as individuals and as a society. Right now inside most of us we feel this conflict where we know that the beliefs and values we are exhibiting are not our best, but we are unsure how to change. Every time we try to change, we get sucked back in by the easiness, shiny new toys, money, status and power of the current system and before long, we get lost in the story of our life wondering where our time and true happiness have gone.

It’s time to stop this downward slide and consciously choose new, healthier and more empowering personal and global beliefs and values. We must stop measuring ourselves against the people around us and especially against the people we see on television and in the media. They are not better than us, they are just different and if they are doing or have something we truly desire, then the solution is not feeling envious or bad about ourselves, it’s using them as an example to achieve the same results. In order to figure out whom we authentically are and what we authentically desire, we must give ourselves permission to be different, unique, special, and whatever we want in life. We must follow the Golden Rule – ‘do to others, as you would have them do to you.’ It’s our responsibility as individuals to break these patterns and step up and be leaders and the examples we always wanted.

With the use of technology it’s easier now than ever to share ideas and create change in the world. It’s my hope that by sharing my ideas and experiences with others it will cause people to ask better questions and take better actions. I believe that we are all feeling this shortcoming in our global beliefs and values systems right now, and the time has come for us to wake up, take ownership and be the ones that make change happen today.

Live Extraordinary!

James

Many of us think we have a positive attitude most of the time, but you’d be surprised to discover that what you think is a positive attitude, really isn’t. A positive attitude is not a feeling, it’s a state of being brought on by your every thought, action and word. You attitude is your choice; it’s not about what happens to you, or how much money or things you have, it’s about how you dedicate yourself to your thoughts, actions and words.

The biggest misconception about a positive attitude is that you can turn it on and off like a switch. This is how so many of us have actually developed a false sense of positive attitude. We think we can do it any time, so why bother now? We’ll save it for later when it really counts. Well the later is shaped by the now. This is why the only way to actually have a positive attitude is to shape and guide your thoughts, actions and words right now, this moment. The past does not equal the future unless you live in the past. Don’t worry about what has happened, this is your chance to start fresh this second and take better actions to achieve better results.

If you have any of the following thoughts or actions throughout your day that last longer than a few minutes, you are not exhibiting a positive attitude:

• Negative self-talk
• Anger towards others or yourself
• Yelling
• Frustration
• Guilt
• Teasing or mocking
• Vengeance
• Fear
• Envy
• Greed
• Pouting
• Avoidance

Changing your attitude is actually a simple process, but requires commitment and dedication on your part. Creating a positive attitude is about taking daily action to be the things you desire. The process may seem cheesy or awkward at times, but everything that has ever been written, spoken or executed in regards to a positive attitude follows this idea. I ask that if you are not fully satisfied with the results you are currently getting in your life, simply do the following 7 steps for a period of 30 days and judge the results for yourself. It if doesn’t work for you then you can always go back to your current ways.

Step 1. Peer Group – Surround yourself with as many positive people as possible. Every day.

Step 2. Influence – Mentally consume as many positive books, videos, CD’s and ideas as you can on a daily basis.

Step 3. Words – Always speak in a positive manner.

Step 4. Belief – You must believe you can achieve it before it will ever happen.

Step 5. Deflect – Don’t listen to people who think you’re crazy, odd or wrong for doing this. They are speaking from a place of fear.

Step 6. Now – Start now. There is no time like the present.

Step 7. Commit – Commit to making this change in your life for a minimum of 30 days to test the results for yourself. Do not deviate from this plan for 30 days or it will not work.

Live Extraordinary!

James

For most of us our material success in life will come from our ability to deal effectively with other people. Sure we must believe in ourselves first and demonstrate our commitment to the goal and process, but once that is established and followed we need other people to help us carry out our plans. This is why our success will be determined by the number of people we know, and who knows us in a favorable way.

All of the material success you achieve will be through other people. You’re likely wondering, ‘how so?’ These are the people who will be there to assist you at the critical junctures in your life. Your ability to influence these people is one of the most important skills you can ever develop to achieve the happiness and success you seek in life.

One common quality that all leaders possess is their ability to get others to go along with them. Great managers, teachers, coaches and communicators first have a high degree of self-awareness and know what influences them. Only when we know who we are and act in an authentic and congruent manner, can we lead and influence others. Winston Churchill said it best, “Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with it yourself. Before you can move their tears, your own must flow. To convince them, you must yourself believe.”

Influencing people is not about being phony, lying or acting like someone you’re not; it’s about creating a favorable link between your true internal nature, needs, beliefs and values, with the external world. Learning to connect fast with your customers, colleagues, bosses, employees, and even total strangers by taking full advantage of your physiology, mind, voice, and above all, your imagination, will give you a significant competitive edge. It will help you maximize the potential in every relationship, be it personal or business-related.

Live Extraordinary!

James