At times we find ourselves feeling like we’re caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place in life. Things aren’t going the way we want, and there doesn’t seem to be any escape. We’re putting up with stuff we know we shouldn’t, but we do anyway. We convince ourselves that it isn’t that bad and that we just have to stick it out until the end of the day or month, until we meet the right guy, our next vacation, our boss sees value in us or we find a new job, etc. If you find the voice in your head is saying any of these kinds of things, that’s a bad sign and you need to get out now.

These things are hindering your happiness, success and quality of life. I know we’re taught by society to believe that life is tough and others always have it tougher so we can surely put up with a little and shouldn’t complain, but we don’t have to put up with something that is mentally and/or physically hurting us. Life will still be tough enough and full of hard work when you’re doing things you truly enjoy, so don’t burn yourself out on someone else’s crap.

So why don’t most of us stop? It comes down to the fact that we’re simply afraid of the consequences of stepping up and changing our situation, or worse yet, we don’t know what we would do as an alternative so we just settle with what we’ve got. All of the frustration, uncertainty and pain from these situations come from us having a feeling of being trapped, overwhelmed and fearful of any actions we could take to correct the situation. Like a mime in a box we’re trapped, but the box only exists in our mind. So why is it so difficult for us to break free of the imaginary box? What has happened is we’ve become so focused and attached to the problem that our brain either doesn’t see any solutions or the solutions we do see seem too difficult to act upon.

Let’s step back to a 30,000-foot view as apposed to viewing our lives through our traditionally used microscopic lens for a minute and put these things into perspective by looking at their consequences on a 1 to 10 scale. 1 being it would make no difference to anything at all and 10 being it would result in catastrophic death and destruction. Right now I bet you believe that there are things occurring in your life that would rank at an 8, 9 or even 10. You’re probably right, but that’s because when you’re looking at them under a microscope, all the little things appear big and scary. The reason they seem this way is perspective. It can be tough to gain some perspective on our own life while living it day to day, but there are always ways to create options so you don’t get caught up in the microscopic view of life. Options are what give us hope and allow us to be free and act in our best interest.

Let’s create some options. Pull out a piece of paper and make a list of all the things you’re currently putting up with. Next to each item list the course of action you desire to take most. Then, next to that column, list the absolute worst-case scenario that could occur if you took that action. Then go a step further and list out all the things you could do to recover if that worst-case scenario actually happened. Now assign it a new number on the consequences scale. I bet all of the 8’s, 9’s and 10’s look more like 3’s, 4’s and 5’s.

Here’s an example:

Now that you can see life from a more clear macro perspective with a list of solid options for the things you’re currently putting up with, they start to seem ridiculous that you ever put up with them. So stop it!  You now know the worst that could happen and have a plan for it. You don’t have to fully stop today, but you do need to start taking action today that will allow you to fully stop in the immediate future.

Live Extraordinary!

James